What do drivers training, TomKat and Greg have in common?

Not much, really. But there's a story here. So keep reading.

PG&E requires employees to take advanced drivers training - something to do with its safety values. Anyhow, everyone from the linemen to administrative assistants and engineers have to get behind the wheel and revisit the fears and insecurities of teenage driving lessons. Events in life most of us would like to forget (especially those of us who failed the written test the first time through).

My training, however, was unforgettable. The instructor, Mr. Wiseman, was a 70-something PG&E retiree. He knew everything there was to know about safe driving - and there's plenty if you're as bad as I am. He was the ultimate back-seat driver. But none of us cared because he had a gold mine of stories to share during our 8 hours of driving time last Thursday.

"So my son is a biiig Holywood director, you know."

I thought to myself, "yeah, whatever old man, just keep your eyes on the road and make sure my co-worker in the driver's seat doesn't kill us."

"His name is Len Wiseman and he directed a little movie called Die Hard and the Underworld trilogy. He's married to Kate Beckinsale, in fact. And the other night he called me telling me how good of a time he was having in Napa with his good pals Tom, Katie, David and Victoria."

Crickets. Silence. Big eyes.

Either senility had set in, or his son was actually famous. And clearly this minivan, filled with Utility employees, was not used to even the most indirect brushes with fame. We were totally engrossed.

"Yup, he hangs out with the Cruises and the Beckhams. The trip to Napa was for Katie's birthday party. Tom rented out space at a luxury resort in wine country. Nice, huh?"

Something like that. It was beyond cute how this little old man, teaching drivers training, had a larger than life connection. (Never judge a book by its cover)

But the real moral of the story is: Don't be a deadbeat son and horde cash from dad. The old fart should be living the high life off his son's B-movie money, not teaching us how to drive.